If you don't like the weather, do something about it. China did.

Wow. Never doubt the capabilities of a Communist government. An official Chinese news agency reports that Beijing managed "to blow away rain clouds for the smooth opening ceremony" of the Olympics.

Let's see you do THAT, Dick Cheney!

And they mean literally blow them away. Beijing meteorologists launched over a thousand "rain dispersal rockets," which "intercepted" the storm heading their way, and somehow diverted (temporarily anyway) the storm onto Baoding City of Hebei Province, southwest of Beijing, which got over 100 mm of rain Friday night.

Not sure what "intercept" means. Exploded in the face of the storm, perhaps? Ha! Take that, Storm Face. Rain, rain, go away and come on down on Baoding City of Hebei Province. Talk about rockets bursting in Red air!

No reports on what the tactic did to air quality.

It was "the first time that such technology has been used to ensure the weather condition for Olympic opening," said the report.

I couldn't find any articles to indicate whether China changed the weather for anything other than Olympic opening.

One thing bugs me, though. What control did they use to ensure it was their rockets, and not some capricious artifact of Chaos Theory, that kept the opening ceremonies dry for a couple of hours? The article doesn't say. I can't wait for the peer-review paper to come out.

Just think, as the Chinese improve their weather-altering technology, to what uses it could be put. Just send out some rockets to blow some storms over to the poles to fill in the missing ozone layer, for example. Global warming? A few strategically placed storms ought to help cool things down. Maybe they could figure out a way to blow CO₂ right out of the atmosphere!

But I understand. This research is still in its early phase. We shouldn't hype the possibilities too much yet.

Then again, what if this new technology is used for evil, as well as good? The new Chinese water torture: Rain incessantly on Tibet until the Dalai Lama gives up and declares Tibet forever a part of China.

Mr. Cheney, sir, before you go, please tap our federal deficit a little deeper to start research on military uses of the weather. We may need a rain dispersal rocket defense shield! Don't let China start a Storm Gap.

Well, never doubt the power of the Chinese government. It's really good at taking credit for amazing feats. Who needs a free press?